Schizophrenia

In a conversation this weekend, it ocurred to me that chemo drugs may be made from heavy metals. I've had experience with that in the past, and that could give me new insight into dealing with chemo. My husband, and my son had suffered from depression due to very high levels of copper. When my son was a little boy - he even said he didn't want to live. When he was 11, they tried to tell me he had a siezure disorder, ADD, and even possibly schizophrenia. Just instinctively knowing this wasn't right forced me to dig in and find solutions for myself. It turned out that just like his father, he had this copper toxicity, and after several months of a chelation therapy, which was basically taking a lot of specific vitamins that would bind to the copper and flush it out of his system, Kory changed from a morose and sad little boy to a happy and playful kid. I often wonder what it would have been like if I had instead given him all the meds they recommended. He has been fine ever since that time, with no further need for treatment. I have to say, it's this experience that led me to put such faith in alternative therapies.

So when I did look up the chemo drugs, I found that some were heavy metals, but most were not. Unfortunately, every time I dig a little deeper, I find more questions than answers. I still am questioning if I'm making the right decision going with chemo. For some reason, it still just doesn't feel right. But neither does sitting with the apprehension and possibility of the cancer returning. Such a dilemna. I'm just not sure if I need to trust my instincts more - or trust that God is providing healing through the chemo. I seem to be right on the fence with this issue. Talk about schizophrenic - one day I'm certain chemo is right - the next I'm doubting it!!! Without a doubt, the hardest part of having breast cancer is making the right choices.

In the meantime, I found out that one of the doctors is waiting for info from Boston before they can give me an appt. and the other, i still haven't heard from. Hmmmmmm I guess everything will happen when it's supposed to.

Today, I'm working from home, and grateful for the opportunity to do that, as I can get so much more done with my energy than if I were driving back and forth to work in the rat race. I do find that I am very careful where I spend my energy. When I start to feeling like i'm getting busy without good reason, I am consciously slowing back down again. I want to keep myself in this good healing mode so the chemo doesn't knock me on my butt!