Dueling Doctors!

Saved my place at the women's breast cancer conference for Tuesday. The plan is to work 1/2 day, then attend the conference. It's right in Latham, and Dr. Stram doesn't start till 1pm so that should work fine. Then, I'll work 1/2 day from home on Wed. Went to see Wayne Hogan today - he worked on my shoulder and it feels good right now - let's hope it stays that way. That's been bothering me for 3 months now. I figured out that I injured it when I was framing - screwing the brackets in the frames. Feels a little strange - He recommended the Essiac Tea, and the Del Immune, now this dr. is saying that the turkey mushrooms are better than the Essaic Tea, and there is a better probiotic than the Del Immune (which I guess is what that is). Each dr. has a little bit different slant on things. It's difficult, as I think they're all very good - but they all have a certain area of expertise, but because they're all holistic, they spread over into other areas. So then, I have to figure out which one I listen to for what. Ultimately, a lot is going to depend on my gut. At least with Dr. Stram, he will be getting a lot of testing done to determine what is best for me. That makes me feel better. And they have a nutritionist on staff to help me as well. So far this week, I've spent $600 on medical costs - really hoping I can get some of that back on insurance, but I have no idea how much. I'm not expecting much. Hopefully, I'll make a few bucks on my Open House Studio Sale on the 9th - that would be great. I've already sold 4 paintings, so that's a good sign.

I did get my 20 minute walk in today, and my meditation, but haven't done my qigong exercises yet. I put up some more Christmas decorations, and went to the market. I've been busy all day - but it never seems like I have enough time. I forgot to schedule an appt. for the blood test which should have been the first thing I did. Hopefully, they can fit me in tomorrow.
till then....
Have a great day!

Progress!

Had a really nice doctor visit today with Dr. Stram. He really seems to know his stuff. I'm going to have a ton of blood tests done - he said they'd be taking about 10 vials of blood. Apparently, he has it narrowed down to 5 conditions that either promote or prevent breast cancer return, and he'll test for levels that will give him the indication for either positive or negative. Things like glucose levels, inflamation, immune system - and honestly - I couldn't keep up with him after that. He told me I need to do more aerobic exercise, and to continue with what I was already doing. He did say that the Essiac tea has not proven as effective as turkey tail mushrooms, so I'm going to discontinue the Essaic tea when I run out, and start the turkey tail mushrooms. Hope they don't taste worse than the tea - I didn't mind that at all. I'm still supposed to take D3 5000 capsules twice a day.

He did say that he believes diets should have some moderation, that if they're too strict, the stress of that is counterproductive....so we were on the same page with that. However, I have to keep a diary of everything I eat for a week, and with that, and the results of the bloodwork, the nutritionist on staff there will come up with some specific dietary recommendations for me. He said that with breast cancer, diet is very effective. He said that he's not as much a fan of grains - which is a lot of what I've been eating - so I'm a little confused now. But thrilled that in a few weeks I'll have a diet that is really right for me. The question is....what do I eat in the meantime?????

They offer thermography there, which is a thermal scanning technique that is supposed to track cancer even before MRI's and cat scans. It looks like all the blood work should be covered, but I have to see how much if any of his visit will be covered.

On Tuesday, He is speaking at the TO Life Women's Health Breast Cancer Conference in Latham. I'm going to try to go. It's an all day event - but I'd like to at least see him. He said there would be a lot more information for me there, beyond what we discussed today.

I found out earlier that he has trained under Dr. Andrew Weil - internationally known holistic doctor and author.  I'm very hopeful that I've found the right place for me. He also seemed to understand that I had limited funds, so I had to keep my ongoing expenses under control. He supports my continuing with accupuncture and qigong. I feel like I'm finally getting somewhere! Yeay!!!

Anticipation

Tonight I'm getting all my paperwork together to see Dr. Stram tomorrow. This appointment is costing a fortune, so I want to be sure I don't forget to bring up anything. It's a one hour appt. That's a lot. Although when I go to Michael (accupuncturist) and Joe (qigong), they spend almost a 1/2 hour talking to me and then there is at least a 45 minute treatment. Alternative healthcare is so different. They fully recognize that healing involves the whole mind/body/spirit. You can't work on one without the other, and that takes more time than the average 5 - 10 minutes you get with a western doctor. I feel bad for them though - as I feel that most would be happy to spend more time with you, but our current healthcare system just doesn't allow it.

Tonight, I'll finish getting my information online for the Holiday Open House. I already have people asking about certain paintings.
Have a great night everyone - more tomorrow!
k

Moving right along!

Wow - busy couple of days. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving at Kyle's house. We've gotten to know his in-laws and enjoy their company as well. So excited to see my new little grandchild growing so strong in my daughter in law. Can't wait till March! Colleen seems to be doing quite well. I always loved that second trimester! On Saturday, we had another Thanksgiving at Bob's house with his family, and Krysta and Kenz came too. That was really nice. 2 of his kids came, but one had to work. It seems the only time I think about cancer these days, is when I eat, and of course, I cheated on both holidays....but not a lot. My biggest problem seems to be desserts. Can't wait to go to Dr. Stram on Wed. Hoping for some better direction in that area.

Plans are well underway for my Studio Open House sale on Dec. 9th. We actually got a lot done yesterday. I have over 85 paintings. Definately time to clear some of them out. I have no idea if 6 people will show up or 60 - but I'll give it a try. I've discounted prices a lot - to move them out, so I do hope I sell some. I could really use the money to pay for medical expenses. Soon, I'll be posting photos of paintings for sale as well as thier prices. I managed to hang about 2/3 of the paintings over the weekend, and even got the Christmas tree up! Much left to do - but it feels doable now, rather than overwhelming. It will be fun to have an open house anyway - I love to entertain, and get people together.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Now on to Christmas!!!

FREE HUGS!!!! Happy Thanksgiving!

There are so many things I have to be thankful for today. I have always said I am the richest person I know. When it comes to family and friends, I have the most beautiful people in my life. I may not have a lot in the bank, but if I had my choice, I'd choose relationships over money any day - and I guess I have!

I'm thankful for the experience of going through cancer...it has taught me a lot, and continues to do so. And I'm even more grateful for knowing, even from the beginning that cancer didn't define me.

I'm grateful for the opportunity to have my surgery in Boston, at one of the best medical facilities in the world, and to have saved at least one if not two surgeries in the process.

I'm grateful there were no nodes involved. It could have been so much worse.

I'm grateful for the amazing healers I had in my life that I could turn to when I needed them most - to Joe Rogers in Salem, MA, Michael Wayne in Saratoga, and Wayne Hogan in Mechanicville.

I'm grateful to have found Dr Stram, and so anxious to see him next week.

I'm grateful to the many people who helped me find doctors and supported me in my quest to find a balance between alternative and western medicine.

I'm grateful for the many hugs I shared that lifted my spirits.

I'm grateful for the love I received from so many.

I'm grateful for the knowledge I already had about alternative medicine, about healing from within, and for the opportunity to do even more research online. If I had this years ago, I would not have the resources I have today.

I'm grateful for having such a wonderful man by my side to support me every step of the way.

I'm grateful my kids have been so supportive of my medical choices even when it meant trucking me to Boston a couple of times, and even though they had some concerns about my not doing chemo.

I'm grateful there are people that cared enough about me to read my blog!

I'm grateful for other cancer patients who have shared their stories with me, especially Darcy, my favorite boss ever, and now dear friend, Joe and Larry, my former classmates, Glenn, and Jenn. Your stories are my stories, and you have blessed me with the sharing.

As I said on fb yesterday, I wish i could just hug everyone.....so here is a youtube clip that I hope makes you feel "hugged".
Much love to all - be sure to watch this - it's great!
Happy Happy Thanksgiving.
Kathi
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4&feature=youtu.be

Weakness

Not a lot happening today. I told a few more people at work that I'm not doing chemo, and received wonderful support....even from some I thought would think I was crazy. That was nice. Not doing great with my diet. Doing fine with the no meat, but struggling still with the sweets. Had a stressful morning, so by afternoon, I was so frustrated that I actually had a mounds bar. I figured the coconut was ok, so it was the best choice of all in the vending machine! I met Bob for lunch, and had a veggie sandwich at Bruggers, with hummus, and it was awful. I think I was still hungry after that - thus my weakness in getting the Mounds bar! Oh well, tomorrow's another day. There are now 3 of us in the family that are going dairy free, so my job for Thanksgiving is to make a dairy free dessert. Looks like it will be a chocolate cake, and a not so sweet apple pie.

Hope everyone is feeling as grateful as I am this year. :-)

Gratitude

Wow, just realized I haven't posted since Friday! I guess that means things are kinda quiet here in terms of health concerns. That's a good thing. Except for my diet, I'm not really thinking about cancer a lot these days. However, things will heat up again I'm sure after next weeks appointment with Dr. Stram. I've been reading up on nipple reconstruction, and wondering is making a nipple from my existing nipple will affect the sensation in that nipple. If that's the case, I'll opt for creating it from something else. If you go onto message boards - you'll find all kinds of comments about all kinds of different reconstructions, and in the end, it seems to be just confusing. Guess I'll just have to ask my doctor.

Still haven't heard back from my surgeon with any comments about my not doing chemo. Not that I expected any positive ones LOL!!! I did sign up for flex pay at work - that will help with alternative medical costs. Though the limit is $2,500, and I'm sure I'll surpass that this year.

Oh, the good news is that I sold several paintings at the gallery this past weekend. 2 big ones, and several minis...so that will go a long way toward some medical bills! Yeay!! I have decided to do a studio open house the second week in December to see if  can sell some of my older pieces. I have no idea if 6 people will show up or 60 - but it will be incentive to get my house clean, and hopefully will get rid of some paintings. I'll sell the older ones at a really good price, so for someone who is interested in paintings, it could be a good deal. Watch for more info on this.

Now to figure out what I have to do for Thanksgiving. I have SO much to be thankful for this year. Aside from a successful surgery, I'm going to have another grandchild born in March. I'm so grateful for the huge support group I've had through this whole ordeal. I truly feel blessed. Thank you all for reminding me what wonderful friends I have.

Meant to be

My sister went to the dr., and told her about my having breast cancer. She must have also told her that I wasn't going to do chemo because her doctor suggested that I see this very highly recommended dr.....Dr. Stram!!!!! Apparently, she did her residency with him. When my sister saw me post on fb that I had an appointment, she was floored. Oh, and I forgot to mention - Cindy told me that he LOVES Rockport!!! So it seems that this is definately meant to be.

Tonight I went to the gallery for the pre-opening show, and to drop off my new paintings. There is a dr. that has purchased a few of my paintings, and she was kind enough to recommend a chemo doc for me. However, he didn't have an  appt. till mid November, so I ended up going to the two other docs that were recommended. I told her I wasn't going to do chemo, and she gave me that look, and said "I know.....I heard" I could hear the disapproval in her voice, but she wished me well. She is actually a cancer surgeon - I think liver or pancreas.....so she deals with this everyday. I totally understand her views and why she has them. I know it will be a long time before I can reassure people that I've done the right thing, but I'll look forward to that day. Not because I want to be right - but because I want people to see that there is another way.

Rocky the squirrel

I just found out that my dear friend, Cindy Sedaker worked with Dr. Stram years ago at Ellis Hospital, and she absolutely loves him. This feels so right. Wow - no wonder I was having such a hard time finding a chemo doctor. I wasn't supposed to even go to a chemo doc. This feels so right.

So I forgot to mention my morning yesterday - for those of you who want a laugh. If you are also friends on fb you've already heard this story! I'm getting out of the shower yesterday morning, with one hand grabbing my towel, when I see a flying (yes that's right - flying) squirrel on my bathroom sink, with my cat about to pounce on him. Needless to say - I ran fleeing into the living room with towel barely wrapped around me yelling to my daughter upstairs to come down and help. So down they come, while I'm trying to entice the cat out of the bathroom. My daughter, in disbelief, went in to grab the cat, and by now, the squirrel was in the tub. My grandaughter in the meantime grabs a tablecloth, and says - Here Mookie - this will cover you up!!!!!!! Just picture this one!!! So by the time we got the cat out, and went back in, the squirrel had found a hiding place. I haven't seen him since. I saw him a few years ago (or one of his relatives) in my kitchen cupboard, and couldn't figure out what the hell it was! I actually was able to take a photo of him then. It was bigger than a mouse, but smaller than a squirrel. I finally figured out that it was a flying squirrel. Luckily, they don't fly around the house - they're more gliders than flyers. I was afraid I'd come home to a massacre - but so far, no sign of Rocky!

Say some prayers for my former classmate and friend Joe Bango who is heading to Dana Farber tomorrow for a second opinion for his multiple myeloma. I hope he is as successful in Boston as I was.

Excited!!!

I'm so excited. I found a doctor today that I think will be perfect. The dr. I contacted the other day, Dr. Lehine, said she was not an expert on cancer, but she would be willing to work with me. But she also mentioned another dr. in Delmar that she thought might. I called him today (Dr. Stram) and checked out his website. He even has several videos on youtube explaining his views on holistic oncology. He is very expensive though - $450 for first hour consult, and $200 - $250 for follow up visits. I won't know if insurance will cover it until I submit it. He is a regular medical doctor, but I would be seeing him as a holistic practitioner. They have many different modalities for cancer under one roof. I don't need more practitioners, but I do need someone to prioritize the ones I'm already doing, and figure out the best diet for me. I have an appt. for two weeks from today. I can't wait. It's so good to feel that I can have help figuring all this out.  Yeay!

Back to work

Had a nice night last night with Bob, we went to Boca Bistro in Saratoga. The end of a nice long weekend. So it was back to work today, and looks like a busy week ahead.  Dropped my mini paintings off at the gallery for the show this weekend. Tomorrow night after work we have a birthday party for a dear friend who's turning 60.

I was supposed to go to Boston on Thurs for a check with the plastic surgeon regading the redness I had on my new girl. I called today to see if I could cancel, since the redness went away the day after my last appt. It's getting expensive running back and forth to Boston, and I really need the money for the alternative treatments. In the last 3 weeks, I've spent around $400. It won't always be that way - but I have to figure out what my priorities are, and make a budget. I dohave to send photos of my grls to the doc to assure him that the red spot is gone. More sexting!!! I talked to the GP/holistic doctor yesterday, but she still has to read through my case and see if she thinks she can help me. Hopefully, I'll hear from her tomorrow.

Right now, I'm watching Parenthood, and one of the characters has breast cancer.  It's interesting in that they're having her drink green veggie shakes, and limit her sugar intake, and she's trying to resist having people help her. I can definately relate. I wondered if they would over dramatize this - but they seem to be handling the story line well.

till tomorrow.....

Planting Seeds

Today is Veteran's Day, and I have the day off. Much to do in the morning, and Bob and I are going to get together in the afternoon. Looks like it's going to be a nice day. I got together with my friend Monika, a former coworker at Racemark. So many of us have stayed in touch from that place. It was an awful place to work in terms of the management, but we all developed close friendships to help get us through the day! Monika bought one of my breast cancer paintings. We hadn't really chatted much except for facebook in 3 years, so we had a great time catching up. It was so nice to see her. When we worked together, she was very taken with my spiritual seeking, and reading, and I found out that since then, she has gone on a quest of her own, and now she is recommeding things to me - like books and seminars, etc. Nice to know that some seeds I planted have come to full fruition. I think we may even go to some of these things together. She is a young woman from Poland, and was fearful to do any exploring outside of the Catholic faith, but now she is not only expanding her views, but even attending other churches as well, and it has enhanced her life greatly. She is becoming such a strong woman, and more at peace.  SOmetimes we don't realize how much we limit ourselves to what we were taught. There is a much greater barometer of right and wrong within us with that still small voice....if we only trust it.

Ad days go by, I run into more people who find out that I have decided not to do chemo. I must say that by far, most are very supportive. It's nice to know that they trust me with my decision. I hope to hear from Dr. Lehine today, so I can set up an appt. with her.
Everyone have a great day,
Kathi

Daddy sang base, Gramma sang tenor

Did I miss a blog post yesterday? Hmmm - losing track of time. I've been painting a lot - getting ready for the miniatures show at Sorelle. What I really need to do is to paint some big ones to sell during the holidays......workin on that. In the meantime, I'm in the groove - having done 12 paintings in the past week. I'm considering having an open house at my home in early Dec. to try to sell some paintings and prints. I really could use some cash right now to catch up on medical bills and pay for my alternative treatments which aren't covered by insurance. I just don't know if I have the time to pull it all together.
Went to my accupunturist yesterday, and discussed my diet. I suggested that I be strict with the diet for 6 days a week, and cheat a little on the 7th - a glass of wine, a little chicken or dessert, etc. He kind of felt I would undo in a day what I worked so hard for all week. Hmmmm. I have to sit with this for a while. If I never eat a piece of cake or have a glass of wine, that will be suffering for me. That just doesn't sound healthy. I'm working on some recipes where I can still have dessert with no sugar (sugar substitutes are a no no too). I called a doctor in Saratoga that has a regular practice in Glens Falls, and a holistic practice in Saratoga. One is covered by insurance, the other isn't. What is wrong with this world? We'd save our entire health care system if we embraced integrative medicine. Anyway, I'm hoping I can use her as my GP on the insurance side, and use her to moderate my alternative therapies. So maybe she will have some insight on the issue of sacrificing joy for the sake of your health. I think a compromise is probably best. I know this won't be easy - but I still think it's the best way.
Off to a memorial service for a lovely lady from church, Ruth Dunn. She will be missed. She used to sing tenor in the choir!!!
Have a great day everyone.
k

Crazy Sexy Kitchen (not)

Well today was supposed to be a painting day, but I haven't picked up a brush yet! I had to go to the market, and ended up picking up lots of veggies that I already had in the fridge (ugh) so when I got back, I had to cook some of them up. This diet is definately not as easy as grabbing a turkey sandwich or throwing some frozen food in the microwave, but then again, I was eating crap, and being lazy, so this is good for me no matter what. My house could use about 3 days worth of cleaning. Between slowing down a bit after surgery, and then having a cold for 2 weeks that kicked my butt, things have definately piled up. Quite possible there will be a Spirit Thursday here tonight, so I had to pick up a little.
Went to the Post Office and my copy of Crazy Sexy Kitchen came in, by Kris Carr, a cancer thriver.
I'm really hoping she'll have some good recipes that make me really enjoy the food I'm eating. There is one good thing about this diet - I don't like the food well enough to over eat, that's for sure!!! I'm sure I'll grow to like it. But believe me, it's a lot of work to figure out what foods are ok to eat. Our local Price Chopper has very limited organic produce, so then you have to try to figure out which is the least problematic. I cooked up some onions, peppers and mushrooms to add to rice for dinner, and then made some onion kale soup. I'd like to try to figure out a way to freeze them into meal size portions so I can have them on days when I don't have time to cook. But then, you have to worry about which plastic containers are safe - UGH!!!! it goes on and on and on. I've actually stopped using expensive creams on my face too - I now use coconut oil. It actually works well, and is cheaper.
Time for dinner - everyone have a nice evening!

Peaceful Warriors

Never did get to post yesterday. I went right from work to Bob's Peace Corps meeting. I feel like life is back to it's previous hectic pace, even though I swore I would work hard to lessen the stress in life. I know that when you're in the zone, money floats effortlessly into your life, but that isn't happening now. I really do need to work harder to get more paintings out there, and more ads sold. Doing alternative therapies will not be cheap. And time-wise, I still have much to do to figure out what to do. This morning I did an email campaign for the gallery, now for some little errands, and then hopefully to do some paintings.

Last night, at Bob's meeting there was a lovely speaker. He was a 26 yr old man from Uganda, who had lived on the streets from the time he was 6 - 16 yrs. They now call him the commissioner of the street kids, as he has taken them under his wing, working tirelessly to get them food, shelter, medical and education. He had never even been to school himself, but was very bright, and had it figured out that the way to change their lives was to educate them so they could help themselves. He learned English on his own, with a computer someone from the US gave him, and is very well spoken. However, in his own country, he cannot speak publicly because he has no education. A local woman had befriended him and started a charity named Jajja's(grandma's) Kids. I was so taken with his story and his heart. These kids are often on the streets from the time they are 3yrs. old. It makes me feel very grateful. If you want to hep check them out on facebook at jajjaskidsuganda.

I wondered if after my cancer diagnosis I could make better priorities in life, and to make all my time count for something. I've always wanted to go to Tuscany, and am more determined than ever to get there this year, but perhaps there is so much more to do with my time. I sit with Bob's friends who have done so much for others, and feel like quite a slacker. This Thanksgiving, I'm pretty sure there's at least a check headed to Uganda.
http://www.facebook.com/JajjasKidsUganda#!/JajjasKidsUganda
He was here in the US getting training from Heifer International, and helping Diane (Jajja) to raise funds for the children.

Back to Work Day!

Well today was back to work day. It felt good to be back in the routine again. I must say that 5pm seemed to take a long time to come though! When it gets dark early - I start winding down early!

I sent out a few emails to get the ball rolling with my alternative health care protocol. It will take a while to get my team together. The diet is going ok - not great - but ok. It will also take awhile to get back into the swing of things there. Doing fine with no meat and dairy - but no sugar is a struggle. I already had two cookies tonight!!! I ordered Kris Carr's (Crazy Sexy Cancer) new cookbook, and downloaded some tips from her website. I really need some cooking classes to learn how to cook things like beans, kale and the like.

I still haven't called the chemo docs and my surgeon in Boston to tell them I'm not doing chemo. That will probably happen on Wed. when I'm off.

Tomorrow will be a long day - up early to vote (Go Obama!) then to work, and after work we'll go to Bob's Peace Corps gathering. They meet once a month - all the returning peace corps volunteers in the area....what a nice group of very interesting people. I really enjoy them.

I managed to get a few little paintings done the other day...the gallery is having a sale on mini pieces - (6: x 9" and smaller) for the holidays - 100 paintings for $100. I can't wait to paint some more. I really need to sell some more paintings to make some cash to pay for medical bills.  It's not too bad - I owe a few hundred for services at MassGeneral, and then need to pay for future alternative therapies as they're not covered by insurance. Would be easier if it weren't fuel oil season! I may end up having an open house here to sell some paintings and prints for the holidays.

ta ta for now....Don't forget to vote!

Namaste

So today was my first day of taking the Essaic Tea. Believe it or not, I couldn't get the cap off the jar, so I had to wait until Bob got it off for me!!! Even Kysta couldn't get it off! It was quite tolerable - almost just like regular tea, and you only drink 4 oz.  After reviewing all the many options I have in terms of alternative treatments for preventing cancer return, I'm thinking that it's just too difficult to choose which options are best for me. I was looking for a new general practitioner, so now I'm going to seek out a holistic GP that can help me to determine where best to put my efforts. Iwill always do qigong, accupuncture and meditation. That is a no brainer. I still believe that energy and spirit are the prime elements of health. But in terms of diet and supplements, etc. I think I need outside help. the more research I do - the more things you can't eat - the more products you can't use, etc. While I'm certain that a majority of the products we use today have toxic elements to them, and that we all need to drive the marketplace to make safer products by purchasing safer products, I'm not interested in living in a bubble any more than I am interested in living with the side effects of chemo for the rest of my life. I want to live joyously, but consciously.

In this month of Thanksgiving, I see that many on fb are saying each day what they are thankful for. I have to say, I am so filled with gratitude. And strangely, I have been through this whole ordeal, even when I wasn't sure how it would turn out. When you know you can get through a crisis like this, and still remain in the space of love rather than fear, then what more could you ask for? Well.....ok, so I still want to take that trip to Tuscany, and the expense of this crisis may have challenged that, but I am even more determined to do those things I'v always wanted to do. Not because I might die sooner, but because I think it's so important to live each day to the fullest....to embrace every opportunity for joy. So to all of you who are reading this - I tell you how sincerely grateful I am that you care enough about me to read this journal from time to time. You have blessed my life. I believe that my work in this lifetime is not to be done alone. I have always felt that all my lessons, my great triumphs, and my blessings have come in community with others. So you are a part of my journey, and I thank you for whatever part you play. Namaste (I see the God in you)

Joyous Little Encounters

Sorry I haven't written in a couple of days - Went to Boston to check on the red spot on my breast. The dr. wasn't concerned. He said it wasn't an infection. He covered it with tape (again!!!) to see if it's possible it is just oversensitive after surgery to outside factors such as detergent, clothing dye, etc. Strangely, the redness is gone this morning!! Odd that there's no redness anywhere else, but I guess it depends on what was done underneath the skin in surgery to make it more sensitive. I'm sure it will be fine in time. Now that I'm not doing chemo, he said we can schedule the second surgery (to tuck up my other girl and do the nipple replacement.), which I guess would be in a couple of months. That is just minor though.

I had a lovely time in Boston - and then went to Rockport for an overnight.  On my way into the hospital I saw the guy who got the hand transplant (my dr. was on the team that did the surgery). I recognized him from online photographs. He was looking great and had a spring in his step. Although the docs office was so backed up because of the storm on Tues, everyone was extremely pleasant. After that, I went to meet my friend Michael for lunch, and while I was waiting for him, I strolled over to Fanuel Hall. There was a big crowd of people there waiting for a group becoming US citizens. When they came out of the hall, everyone was showing their new citizenship papers proudly - such a nice thing to stumble across. Then I had the sweetest exchange with a young Chinese vendor, when I asked what one of the Chinese characters meant. On my way to the Holocaust memorial, I took a wrong turn, and had a very sweet conversation with a woman who set me on the right track. While having lunch with Michael at he Union Oyster House, I was telling him about the Burzynski movie, and the people at the next table apparently overheard, and came over to tell us how Dr. Burzynski had said he would accept their daughter in law in a clinical trial. They were quite passionate about him, and we had a great conversation. The weekend continued with some great conversations with friends at Guiseppe's in Gloucester that night and some chance encounters in a couple of stores. It seemed that I stopped in to see my friend Walter (also has cancer) just at the right time, and we had a special moment. It ocurred to me on my way home that if we counted these little encounters we have every day - we'd realize how many beautiful moments we have. And the more conscious of them we become, the more of them we have. So in this month of Thanksgiving, I'm going to center on gratitude, and hope that the people I meet are as positively affected by me as I have been by others - Let your light shine!

I think perhaps part of this is that I'm coming back to "me" again after struggling so long with the idea of doing chemo. I know this decision wouldn't be for everybody - but I'm sure it's right for me. I feel a great sense of relief. Now, I begin the research of how I can monitor myself for any recurrances, and what alternative modalities I will use (and can afford). Whatever the case, I know God will guide me.