Beautiful People

I had the most lovely lunch yesterday with former classmates Joyce Peluso and Annemarie Boucher. Joyce was visiting from CA, and had BC back in 2001. Annemarie thought it would be good for us to compare notes, especially since Joyce was also a nurse. While we were there, their aunt stopped in who also had BC 5 years ago. Joyce also had 2 sisters with BC, and 2 cousins. Annemarie's mother also had BC many years ago, and survived for many years after. What made it particularly interesting was that Joyce, although she had embraced chemo the first time around, and did a very powerful recipe, 3 years ago, when she was diagnosed with a very rare urinary cancer, she opted out of the suggested protocol of extreme surgery and chemo. She embraces both western and alternative therapies, actually, is even considering going into some form of alternative therapy as a practitioner. But she said that somehow, she just knew the first time she was supposed to do the chemo, and the second time that she wasn't. She maintains that following your gut is the most important cancer protocol. When she said that, it was like this flash came over me. Never at any point during this ordeal did I feel "right" about chemo. I'm trying to listen to what the experts have to say, and what the statistics say - but my gut never seems to agree.

I'm sure those reading this blog are probably sick of hearing me vascillate between doing and not doing chemo, and let me tell you - so am I!!! But the hardest thing is to figure out when you are responding out of fear, and when are you resonding out of faith and trust? And who and what is it I DO trust? It's not easy. I seem more on the fence than ever, with strong arguments on both sides. The saga continues!!

In the meantime, it was so great to chat with these beautiful women, and share our stories, and even chat about a few old times back at MHS. Tonight, I'll have dinner with two other former classmates, Larry Mazza and Joe Bango. Larry had acute leukemia about 8 years ago, and Joe is going through cancer now. We've had some interesting conversations on fb, and decided to get together. I can't tell you how blessed I feel to share these experiences. It's one thing to sit and chat about the 60's and what we did in school, but quite another to talk about cancer. It requires a certain depth and courage to lay your story out and share it with others. I know that so many people consider people with cancer as being vulnerable, but I have to say I think it is the opposite. You don't fret the small stuff when you have cancer, even things like losing breasts and hair seem quite small, and life suddenly becomes about the important things -  like people, family, laughing and loving one another.