52% vs. 48%

Oh My! So I went yesterday to get the book Knockout by Suzanne Somers, and it is certainly full of interesting information. A great deal of it is very negative toward western medicine's habits with chemo. She interviews several alternative and complimentary physicians who deal with cancer (not just breast cancer). Each of them has different methods they use, but all are having a great deal of success, and this is usually with terminal patients, as often, it's only when they don't have success with Western medicine that people turn to alternatives. The problem is, each of these methods has an expense that is not covered by insurance. Also included was an interview with Dr. Moss, who I had gotten some information from previously. He was actually fired from Sloan Kettering because he refused to say that Laetrile was not effective (when studies had shown that it was). He went off to do research on his own, and has since written books about the negative aspects of the cancer industry. He does, however say, that while 70% of the chemo prescribed is either ineffective or unnecessary, in my particular case of triple negative breast cancer, it has shown positive results.  I have never struggled with any decision as much as this. I feel I am perhaps only 52% in favor of doing chemo - and 48% NOT in favor. That is not a comfortable margin.

So today, I have an appt. with Dr. Schlossberg in Rexford at 3pm. I am really hoping he can help me to clarify all of these statistics. It would seem to me that if no lymph nodes were involved, I should be cancer free, and able to take care of any microscopic remains with alternative therapies. But clearly, that's not what theyre suggesting. However, the chemo regime they will likely recommend has definate concerns in terms of heart damage, getting leukemia in the future, and other concerns. I would really like it if they told me that I could do a milder regime, in conjunction with alternative therapies. I'm all for compromise!!! Thank God Bob is going with me today - he has been SO helpful in taking notes at dr. appointments, and helping me to process what they say. It's always good to have someone to say "Did he say what I think he said?" to!!!

In the meantime, while I'm sitting here with piles of research and test reports on my lap, Dr. Sunkin's office called (he's the second dr. I am consulting with) to say they had to push my Nov. 5th appt. out further. Ugh!!!! I expressed my concern to the nurse who called saying that maybe this was a sign I'm not supposed to even do chemo. She could sense my frustration, and when I mentioned that I was referred by Heather Ferris - she said she'd go back and see if the dr. could make an exception and see me sooner. She ended up calling me back with an appt. on Halloween, even sooner than my first appt. So that is good. Maybe I should dress up like my friend John used to for Halloween (he was a PA at St. Peter's) - in a lab coat, with fangs, and an IV filled with bloody mary's!!!!

So at least it would seem that by Halloween I'll have chosen a chemo doc. and we can get this show on the road. Prayers please for clarity on this issue. I keep trying to slow down, and listen to that still small voice of God telling me what I should do - but I still haven't heard it.